Introduction

I have watched many of Dr. Jordan Peterson’s videos, I really admire him. Through his work but also through his philosophy of life. He is very articulate, precise in his speech and conveys very interesting ideas. My expectations from this book is to gain some guidance in taking responsibility of my own personal life.

If I could summarize this book in one sentence, it would be:

“The importance of personal responsibility and how it affects the meaning of life.”

Foreword

This section is about the foreword from Dr. Norman Doidge. There are a few interesting ideas worth a look, worth a reflection.

In today’s world, it is important to understand the difference between the difference between ideologies and true knowledge. Ideology with a simple minded « I know it all » approach is no match for the complexity of existence. We have to be very careful of ideologues, who often translate very complex issues to absurd simplifications. They are very dangerous, especially when they come to power. When they fail, they do not blame themselves, but use their simplifications to blame it on someone, something else. We have to acknowledge that important issues in today’s world are very complex and that we cannot afford to see the world through simplifications. We cannot afford to let history repeat itself. Enough people have already died throughout the history of mankind and more recently during the past century. We have already seen what the capacity of humans for evil in the name of good: Nazi Germany, the Soviet Union, … Therefore, we must acknowledge the complexity of existence and be careful, not to substitute true knowledge with ideologies. We must be tolerant of other peoples’ views, no matter how ignorant they may be, only through discussions and tolerance can we gain true knowledge. Even if we don’t agree on the answers, we can agree on the questions :).

We can all agree that there are lots of uncertainty in life. We still have many questions unanswered, about how the universe was created, what happens after we die, why are we even existing… Throughout history, people have searched for those answers. Many have created stories to deal with those uncertainty of life, in order to provide guidance in dealing the unavoidable unknown. We can see that through the mythologies, customs and traditions from all around the world. In every society, whether it is in Africa, Europe, America, Asia and even Oceania, there are stories and more importantly rules. Aristotle has noticed that in all places, people were concerned with morality, that we create a structure of laws and rules wherever we are. Morality is relative to each individual, what is right or wrong depends on the society we live in. At least, we can believe that human life, free of moral concerns is a fantasy.

We need an ideal at which to aim in our lives, worth sacrificing for. Without this moral compass, there will be chaos within ourselves. The most important rule, is that we must take responsibility for our own life. If we want to live a full life, we must first put our own house in order. Only then, can we aim to take on bigger responsibilities. In this book, the rules are more like guidelines and more importantly, Dr Peterson, takes into account thousands of years of wisdom. These rules, require us to stretch beyond the boundaries of our current selves. This means carefully choosing and pursuing ideals. They have to be above us, often we are not even sure if we might attain them. But it is certain that they offer us the feeling that our life has a meaning.

Like “in all these triumph stories, the hero has to go into the unknown, into an unexplored territory, and deal with a new great challenge and take great risks. In the process, something of himself has to die, or be given up, so he can be reborn and meet the challenge. This require courage.”

Overture

The pursuit of happiness in a life filled with inevitable suffering seems shallow. Dr. Peterson suggests instead that there must be a deeper meaning and that its nature is represented in the great stories of the past. He suggests that it has more to do with developing character in the face of suffering than to do with happiness.

He talks a little about his book Maps of Meaning. His understanding is that the great myths and religious stories of the past were “moral” in their intent, meaning that it had to do more about how a human being should act rather than descriptive of the the world like a scientist would.

He introduces the concept of Order and Chaos. Order is when people around us are predictable, when they act according to some social norms. When there is structure and familiarity. Chaos on the other hand is when something unexpected emerges. When we find ourselves betrayed by a lover. Order and Chaos are the yang and ying of the Tao’s symbol: 2 serpents. the black dot in the white and white dot in the black communicates the possibility of transformation. For the taoists, to walk on that line between the two is to stay on the path of life where meaning is to be found.

He suggests that we must take the heroic path. We must adopt as much responsibility as possible: for our own individual life, for society and for the world. By doing that, we can reduce suffering in the world and justify our miserable existence. The opposite, having no purpose only leads to more chaos, more suffering. Willingness to take on responsibility for our own life is deciding to live a meaningful life.

He goes back to the concept of Order and Chaos. He says that excessiveness in either of the 2 is no good and that we must find and walk that path in-between. As a result, we are simultaneously stable enough, exploring enough, transforming enough.

This is where we will find the meaning that justifies life and its inevitable suffering.

Rule 1: Stand up straight with your shoulders back

In this chapter, Dr. Peterson explains the importance of standing straight with our shoulders back. Not only in a physical way but also what it means symbolically: to willingly accept the burden of life. He goes through different examples which are interesting.

First, the topic of lobsters. Those are animals with a simple nervous system who have been around for more than 350 million years and live at the bottom of the ocean. For them, like many other animals such as birds (even barnyard chickens - pecking order), status and position are important. Territory matters and there is little difference between territory and status. This dictates the survival of an animal in times of scarcity, because having a better territory means more food, better/safer spots to hide (against predators, nature) and access to higher quality mates, a longer and more successful life, hence a higher status. Throughout evolution, they have developed many rituals to establish dominance and resolve conflicts when defending territories.

What is interesting about the neurochemistry of the winner compared to the loser’s. Winners’ high level of serotonin / low octopamine will make the lobster less likely to back down when challenged, it will look taller and more dangerous, serotonin will make them fight longer and harder. Losers’ have lower levels of serotonin / high octopamine, less provocation is needed to make them vanish and they look defeated, drooping.

To add to this, there is this principle of unequal distribution, that we can find almost everywhere. In the human world: where a small fraction of people produces / possess the majority (scientific papers, music, books, wealth). Lobsters, by testing each other out, learn who can be messed with and who to avoid. This results in a hierarchy that is very stable. Weaker lobsters will accept their status and quit trying, due to their neurochemistry after defeats: even after regaining courage and daring to fight again, they are more likely to lose. It is a winner-take-all situation. 350 million years ago, the nervous system could process information about status and society, this concept of dominance hierarchies have been a part of nature ever since. This has not been invented by humans.

There is an ancient part in our brain that keeps track of our position in the dominance hierarchy. This regulates our perceptions, values, emotions, thoughts and actions. The neurochemistry is the same, when we face a defeat, our posture droops, we feel many negative emotions such as anxiety, fear, threatened, weak, we are in poor physical and mental condition. If we do not recover from this, we become chronically depressed. Like lobsters, when we have low serotonin, we are less confident, our emotions are amplified, we stress more. We are less happy. Those at the top of the dominance hierarchy experience more serotonin levels, this result in less illness, misery and death. There are many other downsides to be at the bottom: we are of minimal romantic interest to anyone, we are more likely to die, we become easy target for predators and psychopaths, this is a very dangerous place to be. Also, like in the lobster world, people at the bottom are more likely to stay at the bottom due to many different factors. The opposite is true when you are have a high status. Therefore, we can observe similarities between humans and lobsters, in the neurochemistry and consequences it has on the physical and mental state, but also on the very probable future it entices.

Stable and reliable sleeping and eating habits are very important to keep. Waking up at a consistent hour is very important. To treat anxiety and depression, we must keep predictable daily routines. Eating enough protein at breakfast avoids ending up in a hypoglycemic state !

Another thing to be wary of are destructive positive feedback loops. For example, with many addictive substances such as alcohol, people may find out that the negative effects can be “cured” by consuming the substance again (eg: hangover: alcohol withdrawal). Even though this solution is temporary, when we repeat this positive-feedback loop, it can go out of hand very quickly and we might experience terrible consequences. When the medication causes the disease. People suffering from anxiety can also end up in a “destructive” positive feedback loop: someone having anxiety disorder may not want to leave their home. And going out and experiencing such stress will encourage them to stay more at home in the future. Further isolating them and not solving their anxiety disorder. Anxiety-induced retreat makes everything we have withdrawn from more anxiety-inducing ! We can also think of depressed people who tend to isolate themselves and bullied people who do not fight back / stand up for themselves. In many ways we can observe positive feedback loops in our daily life. The important thing is to analyze and understand which positive feedback loops are “destructive” and dangerous.

Standing up for ourselves is important. thinking that people are good by default is very naive. There are many bad people that genuinely malevolant, when we realise that we are “oppressed” it is important to say no and mean it. The sooner the better. People who are of self-sacrificing nature are often pushed around by others, this often leads them to feeling resentment and affect the people around them as well. So standing up for ourselves, especially when we are mistreated is important because it can lead to worse consequences (mental health, resentment, stress, destruction): not only for us but also for those dear to us.

One way to stand up for ourselves is to state our refusal with certain terms and stand behind it, so that it limits the “oppressor” range of actions. Having the skill to stand up for ourselves also often leads to less likelihood of being oppressed. This makes sense because we will behave in a different way: we are able to say no, we will be able to deescalate situations early on. Also people around will notice that we do not let ourselves be exploited. If we can bite, it doesn’t mean we have to. There are many benefits to standing up for ourselves, over time we feel less afraid around bullies and we gain more self-respect for ourselves.

As a conclusion for this chapter, it is important to realise that we might be a loser, we might have a pile of bad habits. Trapped in destructive positive feedback loops will not lead to a better future, instead will lead to misery. People and society will continue to label us as lower status and treat us as such because we indeed behave as defeated lobsters. Fortunately, it doesn’t mean that this cycle of being a loser lobster has to continue, circumstances change and so can we. Positive feedback loop can also work in the opposite direction, we must activate them ! We can start working on our body language and our speech. People, like lobsters, size each other up and treat each other accordingly. Just standing up straight with our shoulders back might not be enough, but the message is beyond the physical aspect. It means accepting the burden of life and facing the demands of life voluntarily. It means taking a step forward, occupying a territory, defending it and expanding it. It means accepting the end of the unconscious paradise of childhood. It means speaking our mind, putting our desires forward as if we had a right to them, walking tall, gazing far towards the horizon, daring to be dangerous. Doing so will increase the likelihood of good things to happen to us, so let’s remember the wise lessons we can take from lobsters 😁.